Through discussions, one tends to open up to the partner even more and the trust level increases. It helps avoid unforeseen arguments that could end up in a bitter breakup. Most of the times partners avoid conflict because they think this would end their relationship.
But by avoiding it, they are making it more complicated. When outburst happens, the repercussions are catastrophic. Expressing your opinion during an argument can make you feel relaxed. Every relationship is bound to fluctuate. Fights only make you stronger and increase your level of patience, care and love for your partner. However absurd it may sound, a healthy argument with your partner is the secret to a happy relationship.
Here are five reasons why you should fight with your lover, but end it on a happy note. Share Via. Your relationship gets stronger as there are no grudges We argue to express out point of view on a certain issue.
It increases trust Through discussions, one tends to open up to the partner even more and the trust level increases. If you're name-calling, you've probably gone too far. John Gottman , world-renowned psychologist and relationship expert, says that one of the predictors of divorce occurs when a person consistently attacks her partner's character rather than isolating the specific issues that are upsetting.
So, instead of saying, "Of course you didn't do the dishes again. You're lazy! You can say something instead like, "I feel frustrated when I come home to a sink full of dirty dishes. Can we set up a schedule for our chores so this doesn't happen again? When we're arguing, there's a tendency to talk more than to listen. We're so eager to get our feelings out, we may not even hear what our loved one is trying to express.
Batterson says that the person who has an issue is the one that needs to be listened to. She suggests that instead of immediately defending yourself, just listen and let your partner know that you heard them.
This approach is effective because it not only shows that you were listening, but that you understand what your partner was saying or where they were coming from. You're more likely to have a more productive dialogue instead of a full blowout argument when you just listen.
The reality is that most of us recycle arguments and can almost exactly predict how our partner is going to respond, as if the discussion has been scripted. If you want to fight better, change what you say—and how you say it. Batterson agrees, "It's a good thing for people to recognize their 'dialogue demons' so they can re-frame the argument, label it, and approach it differently. Instead of pointing the finger at the other person, they can ask themselves how they're contributing to the argument and try a new approach.
A lot of couples might keep it to themselves when they're mad at each other because they're scared of starting potentially relationship-threatening arguments. But a recent study found that avoiding these conversations is actually more likely to harm a relationship than help it. Tessina, Ph. How do they think it should be done? Is there a concrete reason — i.
In the short-term, while it may be easier to not argue and just ignore whatever issue is happening, arguing actually helps you and your partner evolve — individually and within your relationship. They become undiscussables — elephants in the room.
They escalate and can destroy the relationship. You may know of a couple that complains about each other non-stop. Maybe they argue a lot, too, but not in a healthy way. Or, maybe they have stopped trying to discuss the root of their problems, which only magnifies them. Then, the person speaks up, but in a way that is disrespectful. This disrespect is repeated, becoming a pattern, and grows into dislike.
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